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Da ruft mich doch glatt neulich ein Radiosender an (SWR Info war’s) und fragt, ob ich denn auch etwas zum Thema Jammern und dessen positive Effekte sagen kann.
Oh ja, ich kann.
Nach all meinen nimm-es-doch-mal-mit-Humor-Botschaften, habe ich nämlich auch noch eine ganz andere im Petto: Manchmal tut es eben auch einfach gut, seinem Ärger, seiner Wut oder auch seiner Enttäuschung Luft zu machen!
Aus zwei Gründen halte ich das sogar für wichtig:
Erstens, Jammern tut gut.
Schon Sigmund Freud wusste mit seiner Psychoanalyse von der heilenden Wirkung, seine Gedanken und Gefühle einfach mal auszusprechen. Nicht umsonst gibt es in der Therapie und im Coaching die Idee des entlastenden Gesprächs. Und wir alle kennen es: mal ein paar Minuten einfach abschimpfen befreit ungemein. Probieren Sie es mal aus! (Denken Sie aber bitte dabei an die Spiegelneuronen und die Menschen in Ihrem Umfeld – denen ist vielleicht gerade nicht nach Jammern zu Mute. Halten Sie also gerne gebührenden Abstand.)
Zweitens, im Jammern liegt auch eine Wahrheit.
Im Jammern liegt auch immer eine Botschaft. Wir ärgern uns über etwas, ein Bedürfnis wurde nicht erfüllt, eine Hoffnung enttäuscht oder eine Frage nicht beantwortet. Gründe für Jammern gibt es viele. Mein Tipp: hören Sie einmal genau hin, was der Jammernde Ihnen gerade sagen will. (Auch wenn es manchmal schwer fällt. Und auch, wenn der Jammernde Sie selbst sind. Was stimmt da gerade nicht? Was genau führt zum Jammern?)
Der Trick liegt im Aufhören.
Irgendwann muss eben dann mal gut sein. Sonst beginnt der Jammerer zu nerven und es hört ihm sicher keiner mehr zu. Sie kennen sie, die Dauerjammerer, denen man nie etwas recht machen kann. Und vielleicht (nur ganz vielleicht) ertappen Sie sich auch mal in einer Jammerschleife. Wenn der gleiche Satz mehrfach wiederholt, das zwölfte Beispiel gefunden und die siebente Bestätigung eingeholt wurde – dann ist es an der Zeit für eine Abbiegung zum Konstruktiven. Und damit wären wir dann wieder bei meinen nimm-es-doch-mal-mit-Humor-Botschaften.
Zwei konkrete Tipps verrate ich auch im erwähnten Radiointerview. Wer mag, nimmt sich die fünf Minuten.
Und meine Königsfrage unter den Fragen, wenn jemand einfach nicht aus dem Jammer-Modus rauskommen mag, lautet immer wieder:
Was können Sie tun, um es noch schlimmer zu machen?
Allgemeine Irritation, doch ich verbleibe
… in heiterer Gelassenheit
Ihre Frau Schulz
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